Monday, March 7, 2011

Arkady

So, some of you may have heard by now from this guy named Arkady about our alliance. It was a weird situation. Apparently he’s on the run from some guy working for Slenderman and has ended up here in Austin. I guess the official term is “Slenderproxy.” I dunno, most of my studies have been related to Slenderman himself, but that’s another story for another time. Yesterday he sent me a message suggesting that we might be able to work together for mutual gain. He’s had a lot of experience dealing with Slenderman and his minions. The way I see it, having someone else on my side with that kind of experience could be pretty useful.

We decided to meet up and discuss living arrangements. I’ve agreed to lend him food and lodging in return for some assistance and his information regarding the Slender One. At first I thought this situation was going to be fruitful but…then I actually met him. First of all, for a guy who hasn’t bathed in either days or weeks, he is obnoxiously pretentious. Making references and allusions to Crime and Punishment gets old fast. He seems to think very highly of himself, like he’s some kind of ubermensch. Oh, and I’m pretty sure he’s an addict. He pops painkillers like they’re candy. I swear if I hadn’t experienced some of the things he was talking about first hand I’d think his brain had gone to shit from drug use.

But I suppose he could still be of some use. He’s really gung ho about fighting Slendy and this guy named Javert. Hopefully I can channel some of this for my own benefit. His obsession with violence could alleviate some of the stress incurred by fighting Slenderman off and save me a lot of effort. Plus he could distract Slendy's minions while I continue on in my research. And if he can buy me enough time to figure out a solution to this long-limbed bastard once and for all then double bonus points for me. He’ll be worth his weight in food.

So now we’re sorta living together. We’ve only got one set of keys, so he comes in at night when I’m already at home and back from class. He can eat whatever’s mine, though he’s not allowed to touch my absinthe. After what I’ve gone through, I need all the comfort I can get. Grabbed my old, smaller mattress from storage. It was mine before I got this apartment, which afforded me more bed room. He seemed depressingly overjoyed at that and the shower. Though in all fairness, I think we were both rather thankful about the latter.

Anywho, here’s to hoping this turns out to bring something useful to the table.


As Always,
Love Under Will
93/93

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7 comments:

  1. I do not have an addiction problem.
    I have a pain problem.

    You go through the stuff I have, and then you can complain about me needing to take pain meds.

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  2. I don't care what you call them. For now, you're experienced and thus of use to me. When your "problem" gets in the way of your performance,our contract is terminated.

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  3. Contract?
    Look, don't you start talking like you're the one calling the shots here. You know what happens to most people when ol' Slendy's taken an interest in them? They end up dead. Which you probably will too, on your own. Unless you think your hocus pocus will save you.

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  4. I find it highly amusing that you look down on my "hocus pocus" when your methods have proven to accomplish nothing at all against Slenderman.

    And no one is calling the shots here. This is a case of mutual benefit. We're both getting something out of this. In my case, your experience. In your case, my lodging. If either of us no longer gains benefit from the other, it isn't exactly mutual, is it? So whoever loses out terminates. I figured that was more or less common sense.

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  5. I could do the mature thing and acknowledge that argument will accomplish nothing.

    Or.

    I could act like a petulant child and turn up the volume on my laptop really loud as a response.

    I hope you like Bach.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Do you really want to play a game of "Who can play the more obnoxious music louder" game with me?

    ReplyDelete
  7. At first, I wasn't sure.
    But now you've made it a challenge.
    Bring it on.

    ReplyDelete