Hah! Saps. Half of you read the title and clicked thinking OMFG THIS FICTIONAL INTERNET CONSTRUCT HAS STRUCK AGAIN!!!!!!
Alright, so lemme give this a bit of context. Remember my arthaus post? Well it seems to have gotten the better of me! I was trolling the net for interesting indie horror films because I’m tired of the drivel that gets presented in modern day horror cinema. My ideal horror film experience does not involve watching people get tortured for an hour and a half. Sorry “Saw” and “Hostel.” Anywho, one I kept seeing referred to online was this flick called “Marble Hornets.” So I checked it out and…would you believe it, it was that Slenderman stuff Kal sent me! A live action film and everything! I highly recommend it if you haven’t seen it. Just youtube Marble Hornets, it’ll lead you to the channel. It’s a series of rather well done short videos about this Slenderman character. I wasn’t all that taken with Slenderman himself, but I absolutely adored ToTheArk and his films. The director made some brilliant stylistic choices!
Anywho, the troll baiting is there because as I went to see if there were any other directors making movies like this (similar to the Hellraiser series getting licensed to a bunch of people…though admittedly only the ones officially done by Clive Barker were any good), I stumbled upon this bizarre community and…get this…people actually BELIEVE this shit. I’m all for IC stuff, I play RPGs plenty. And for a second that’s what I thought was going on but…no. No people actually think he exists. That's why Kal got so encouraged I'm sure. So the title was there to freak out any of those lunatics who religiously google search Slenderman to find out who he’s been stalking lately.
Guys, seriously. Get a life. Go outside.
No? Alright. I'll make you a deal.
THIS is the Circle of Solomon. Beautiful design. It's used in the Ars Goetia and a bunch of other rituals. And that thingy in the middle is apparently called "the Operator Symbol." I guess it does something fancy and Slendy related. So you paranoid rocket scientists who are just now putting two and two together can probably guess what I've got planned. That's right, I'm going to summon Slenderman. Oh and this has been carefully thought out, for all you detail oriented losers out there. Consider the Tulpa theory, as explained in (Slenderia).
See, if Slenderman exists because he exists as a thoughtform, then the Ars Goetia is a perfect choice for bringing him forth. As you might have read in a previous blog of mine the Ars Goetia is believed to summon "internal demons" or archetypes from the mind. So it should bring Slendy right to me. Bonus points if you believe in that absurd Crowley variant of the Tulpa theory. So the plan is to print this baby out on larger paper from the office later tonight and finish the ritual. Office won't notice the large paper so we're good!
I expect you dorks to type me up messages about how I'm playing with fire and dooming myself to certain death, yadda yadda yadda. I'm going to ignore these. And continue with the ritual. And I assure you that weeks, months, and even years from now I'll still be alive. Or if I'm not, it won't be due to Slender-related causes.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go out and talk to human beings. Because that's what people do when they aren't imaging themselves to be the targets of fictional horror monsters.
Love Under Will