I’m finally back. My absence was mostly unplanned, and I still do not know exactly how much time was lost to me. You see, readers, I've been on quite the journey since you last heard from me. I have decided to chronicle it mostly for the sake of Kal and Henry. From what little I've gathered from their blogs and such they seem to be out and about still. My cellphone is lost and neither of them are online at the moment, so I've decided to write out this story here for them to find. I'm far too tired to wait until morning to message them. They can read this when they wake up tomorrow, when I expect to still be asleep.
It started perhaps half an hour after my final post, the one detailing our little summoning gambit to buy Kal some time. If you recall, I signed off saying I had plans to get epically hammered. That’s a bit uncharacteristic of me, but I’d grown so tired of…Hell, existing that I felt the need to black out some part of my life for some amount of time.
The process of getting drunk is a bit blurry. I can’t tell you much of what happened except that Arkady, though mildly disappointed, decided I deserved the right to erase parts of my life from memory and dealt with it relatively well. The rest is just flashes of color and blurry recollections of various areas of my apartment. Lost in my bacchanalian revelry, I drifted aimlessly about and enjoyed the sweet bliss of thoughtlessness.
So imagine my surprise, then, when everything shifted into focus all at once. One minute I could barely make heads or tales of my own apartment, and the next…everything was put back in its place. My mind was still slow and my reasoning still faulty, mind you. But I wasn’t so far gone to realize just how odd this phenomenon was. Perhaps it was because of this surprising turn of events that I didn’t immediately notice what should have been obvious. The lights in the apartment were all turned off. Only the screen from my laptop provided any illumination into the hallway where I stood. But it was enough to cast a pale light against the white walls around me, where I watched as shadows gradually reached out from the darkness just beyond the computer’s comforting glow. Each one slithered across the wall slowly, glistening with an unclean sheen that made my skin crawl.
“Oh. It’s you.”
What else do you say in a situation like this? He stepped out of the darkness and into the hallway of my room. His thin, empty face turned in my general direction while his eyeless gaze bore holes into my mind. His suit, cleanly pressed, clung to his gaunt frame as the tendrils of shadow slipped out from the openings in his clothing. It was a strange thing to notice, how clean his appearance was in contrast to his slimy alien appendages. But those were the last thoughts that came to mind as I was suddenly thrust into oblivion.
I thought I was dead. I had no reason to believe otherwise. Where once was the long-limbed menace stood in my hallway was absolute stillness. No walls, no glowing screen. Then, warmth and a sudden flash of light. I opened my eyes and found myself alone. I had awoken on a hard wooden floor, which was rather different from my own carpeted apartment. I definitely was not home. Slowly I sat up and looked around at my surroundings. The place was filled with enormous wooden bookshelves twice my height and filled to the brim. There were tables scattered about, interestingly enough with old wax candles lit to provide the only lighting in the building. I scanned the white walls of what I assumed to be a library in search of a window, but found none. Nor did I see any doors. This…was troublesome.
I stood up and shook off the wave of exhaustion that hit me once the shock receded a bit and I became aware of myself again. My limbs ached and my body protested as I gradually trudged my way towards the nearest shelf. I picked a book at random, for no particular reason at all, and pulled it out of the shelf before cracking it open. There were a half dozen different things I was expecting, from a normal book to a book written in an alien language to a book filled with empty pages. What I was not expecting was the Grimoire Verum (link), which I then held in my very sore hands. Confused, I scanned the other books in the shelf. The whole damn thing was lined with occult manuscripts, books on ancient mythology and folk magick, Gnostic scriptures and more! Every single book in that shelf contained some bit of esoteric knowledge. I walked over towards the next shelf, my pain all but forgotten with this sudden reversal of fortunes, and checked the books there as well. Sure enough, more books on the same subject. The library might not have been that large, but there had to be thousands of books here!
I was giddy with excitement for a moment, but quickly composed myself. As unbelievable and fortunate as this was, I was still stuck in a library that seemed to have no exit. I knew better than to waste my time with physical escape since I clearly wasn’t in any place rational. But what I did have was an entire occult arsenal at my disposal, which I reasoned should make breaking out of this place easier. There had to be something in one of these tomes that could at least point me in the right direction. Success was almost certain, I was convinced. At least, I thought I was. Despite being certain I had everything I needed, there was this strange sense of uncertainty in the back of my consciousness. It was almost like a tiny voice whispering into my ear and building a sense of doubt, but doubt in what I wasn’t so sure. There was nothing I could tell myself to allay this wordless fear that gripped the pit of my stomatch.
I sat down at a table and started reading, getting an idea of what approach to take. But all the while, that uncertainty started to slowly fester in my mind. Book after book I devoured over the span of hours, or maybe days, but all the while the sensation of doubt ate away at me. The voice was slowly growing louder, and more pronounced. I decided to chalk it up to exhaustion. By then I had been up and reading for hours, my eyes were hurting, and I could not for the life of me focus on the book. I assumed if Slender Man wanted to come get me then I’d be just as defenseless asleep as I would be in my current dazed state. I crawled up onto a table and tried to drift to sleep, but found it immensely difficult to do so. More than just the doubt, I began to feel as if someone was watching me. I did a cursory walk through the aisles, hoping to catch a glimpse of some phantasm that was disturbing my much needed rest, but found nothing. I climbed back onto the table and tried to fall asleep. It did not come easy.
I woke up a few hours later, dizzy and in more pain. The voice of doubt in my mind had grown worse, and it began to tear at my psyche internally. As I would mull over escape plans in my head I would involuntarily flash to moments of failure, like when Porfiry nearly killed me despite my protective sigil. Or when Slender Man playfully cast aside my wards and stole my own research subject from me. The thought that I might never leave this place crept into my head constantly, no matter how hard I reassured myself that I was perfectly capable of engineering my escape. I picked up a book and tried to ignore it, but it distracted me from my reading which only shook my resolve. I felt like I was suffocating, as if the light of hope was being gradually smothered by an ebony tide of sourceless fear. My hands trembled as I held the book, my frustration nearly uncontrollable now that I was almost paralyzed with doubt. My thoughts led me to Kal and Henry, and the little girl. Where they alright? Did I really save them, or did I just prolongue the inevitable?
And still I felt that strange presence in the deserted library, as if some creature were lurking in the corners of the room and staring at me. I felt like a prisoner being watched over by a guard. That feeling gradually anchored itself in my mind, and slowly I began to see this endless sea of books not as a source of salvation, but as a prison. I aimlessly walked between aisles and started knocking down books from their shelves, kicking them across the room and shouting in frustration. All the while, that cancerous dread that had been building up inside me continued to erode away what little sanity I had left. I mentally directed criticisms at myself about this whole fiasco, everything that had gone wrong since the Slender One entered my life. About the stupid summoning plan to disprove his existence, about the sigils and nearly being killed by Porfiry. About how my books and research amounted to nothing. It was like I was shouting at myself within my own mind.
“Well, great job there kiddo. Look what you’ve gotten yourself into? An entire fucking arsenal of arcane knowledge and all you can do is impotently shout like a wild animal trapped in a cage.”
“God, you’re pathetic. Call yourself a Thelemite? If you’re so fucking smart, why aren’t you out of here yet?”
“You think you saved Kal? You can’t even save yourself. They’re dead. You’re dead. You’re all fucking dead and you don’t even know it yet.”
“You gave that stupid little girl hope when you saved her, only to have it taken away when Slender Man finally kills her. Who’s the monster now?”
“Just give up. Kill yourself and be spared the embarrassment.”
“Yeah, why don’t you kill yourself you worthless dog? You’ll never amount to anything.”
The sharp tone of the comments finally snapped something inside me. A something that made me realize in that entire moment of hopelessness and dread, that those criticisms weren’t just imaginary accusations. They were voices. Real fucking voices. In my head.
I fell to my knees, clutching my head and screaming to drown out the talking, but no matter how hard I screamed the voices were there, drowning out all sound but the corrosive venom they continued to spew.
“You can’t shut me up! You can’t shut me up! You can’t do anything! You’re fucking stupid! Keep covering your ears, see if that does any good! Scream like a child, a stupid little child!”
A splitting headache erupted through my head. It felt like my brains were pouring out of a gigantic crack in my skull. I lost my sight, my feeble brain trying to continue functioning against the horrific wave of stimulus beating itself against my consciousness.
And then the pain stopped. Everything. My sight was restored, and I saw the floor right beneath me where I had curled up to hide from the pain. I relaxed my breathing down to compose myself. The voices were gone. Everything seemed quiet. I waited, perhaps for a few minutes. And then I slowly lifted my head up, hoping to the gods that I had just woken up from some awful dream. But I hadn’t. I was still in the same stupid library, sitting on the same stupid wooden floor, lost in the same stupid aisles of books. But I was not alone. Before me stood a creature, the one I knew had been watching me this entire time. It sat atop a gargantuan monster easily as tall as an individual bookshelf, with sharp tusks, menacing eyes, and covered in fur. The creature was humanoid, but with three heads. That of a man, of a bull, and of a ram. The center head, the human head, bore a crown with an esoteric sigil upon it. Its outstretched leathery wings were poised behind it, immobile as it stared down at me from its enormous height. I looked up at it, all too familiar with the beast that gazed down upon me.
“Asmoday…”
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Saturday, April 16, 2011
Monday, April 4, 2011
The Plan
Don’t have too much time to type. Got a brand spanking new bottle of La Clandestine ordered and it came in today. And it’s a perfect time to celebrate. Don’t really wanna dwell too much longer on how fucked over Arkady and I are. No, tonight is to be joyous because nowadays such opportunities are too few in number.
Shit had gone to Hell on FoL’s side. Arkady and I talked about it for a bit, and we ended up devising a plan. Remember how I fucked this entire mess over by bringing the Slender One to me? Well we decided that Kal and Henry needed some cover now that Henry has caved under the stress of watching his girl die. The Ars Goetia is all but faded back at their place, no doubt because of Henry’s mental state (not that I blame him). I called Kal and told him that I was gonna set up a distraction for the Slender One and that he needed to take Henry and the little girl with him and run far away.
Over on our end, Arkady and mine’s mission was simple. We were going to summon the Slender One again. Only neither of us can take him, much less me in my hurt state (arm still healing after what Porfiry did to it). So we got a little clever. We spent the entire day driving around Austin at random locations inscribing copies of the Goetic Summoning Circle I had used that stupid, fateful night. We also bought a bunch of those cheap voice recorders and recorded the incantation I had used along with a 10 minute long delay before the incantation kicked in. We went to one circle and set up the recorded incantation, then drove to the next circle and placed the next incantation. The idea was that the Slender One would be summoned to the circle and the incantation. The recorder would break and immediately free him, but by the time the Slender One would have gotten there Arkady and I would have set up the next recording. We would have effectively spent two hours summoning the Slender One all across town.
For the record, no I did not once stop to think about the horrible horrible possibilities this plan had, like if someone were to walk in during the Slender One’s summoning. I would like to retroactively apologize to the wandering vagrants of Austin who might have been killed by this gambit.
Called Kal as soon as the whole thing started. Got a call back when he said he was almost out of Denver. That was about 20 minutes into the gambit. I called a few minutes after we set down the last incantation and he said everything was going well. They were a bit shaken up, but given what they’ve gone through that’s understandable.
Moral of this story is that Kal and Henry and the little girl are safe and I’ve got me some delicious wonderful absinthe to drink…and drink…and drink until I can’t feel feelings anymore.
Love Under Will
93/93
Previous/Next
Shit had gone to Hell on FoL’s side. Arkady and I talked about it for a bit, and we ended up devising a plan. Remember how I fucked this entire mess over by bringing the Slender One to me? Well we decided that Kal and Henry needed some cover now that Henry has caved under the stress of watching his girl die. The Ars Goetia is all but faded back at their place, no doubt because of Henry’s mental state (not that I blame him). I called Kal and told him that I was gonna set up a distraction for the Slender One and that he needed to take Henry and the little girl with him and run far away.
Over on our end, Arkady and mine’s mission was simple. We were going to summon the Slender One again. Only neither of us can take him, much less me in my hurt state (arm still healing after what Porfiry did to it). So we got a little clever. We spent the entire day driving around Austin at random locations inscribing copies of the Goetic Summoning Circle I had used that stupid, fateful night. We also bought a bunch of those cheap voice recorders and recorded the incantation I had used along with a 10 minute long delay before the incantation kicked in. We went to one circle and set up the recorded incantation, then drove to the next circle and placed the next incantation. The idea was that the Slender One would be summoned to the circle and the incantation. The recorder would break and immediately free him, but by the time the Slender One would have gotten there Arkady and I would have set up the next recording. We would have effectively spent two hours summoning the Slender One all across town.
For the record, no I did not once stop to think about the horrible horrible possibilities this plan had, like if someone were to walk in during the Slender One’s summoning. I would like to retroactively apologize to the wandering vagrants of Austin who might have been killed by this gambit.
Called Kal as soon as the whole thing started. Got a call back when he said he was almost out of Denver. That was about 20 minutes into the gambit. I called a few minutes after we set down the last incantation and he said everything was going well. They were a bit shaken up, but given what they’ve gone through that’s understandable.
Moral of this story is that Kal and Henry and the little girl are safe and I’ve got me some delicious wonderful absinthe to drink…and drink…and drink until I can’t feel feelings anymore.
Love Under Will
93/93
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Wednesday, March 30, 2011
The Oneiric Plane Experience
I really don’t like Javert. It may be because he’s about as pretentious and self-important as Arkady while working for the other side. It may be because he happen to nearly break a few of my favorite limbs. While I suspect the answer lies somewhere between those two extremes, I’ve finally got enough of an opening to explain what happened to me.
Kal and I tried to enter Oneiros. We found the entrance in the astral plane, and he led me to where the rift between the Astral Plane and Oneiros was. I try explaining this to people who aren’t into the occult a lot of times with varying success, but Astral travel and Oneiros isn’t something you “see.” Yeah, there are visual elements but most of it is your mind trying to make sense of the information its receiving. And sometimes the mind doesn’t have a visual equivalent to what it encounters in these places. Such was the case for the Rift. I could feel its pull when Kal brought me there. I know where it was, its dimensions, everything about it. But there was no “physical appearance” to it, no visual element.
I pushed Kal into the Rift. We could have entered Oneiros another way, but there was no guarantee we’d enter anywhere near the Slender One. Might as well use the same path he did to at least ensure we were following in his footsteps. So he did, and I stepped through the rift. Somehow, we ended up in different places. At the very least, he wasn’t wherever I was. The place looked like a cross between a city and a jungle. Buildings rose up into the sky, but were twisted and spiraled, as if bent by unseen hands. Trees were everywhere. The sky was the brightest shade of black you could ever see, contrasted against the dull grey of the buildings. Every single window in every single goddamn building shone a pale white light. Everything was lifeless. I had no idea what the Hell this place was. Someone’s dream?
And that’s when everything changed. The buildings shook, the ground trembled. The buildings began to grow upwards, reaching towards the sky and twisting into stranger shapes. Some split apart, others started to twist together like branches entwined. Up and up they went, covering the sky until everything went grey.
Then I woke up. Back in the real world.
I need a drink.
Love Under Will
93/93
Previous/Next
Kal and I tried to enter Oneiros. We found the entrance in the astral plane, and he led me to where the rift between the Astral Plane and Oneiros was. I try explaining this to people who aren’t into the occult a lot of times with varying success, but Astral travel and Oneiros isn’t something you “see.” Yeah, there are visual elements but most of it is your mind trying to make sense of the information its receiving. And sometimes the mind doesn’t have a visual equivalent to what it encounters in these places. Such was the case for the Rift. I could feel its pull when Kal brought me there. I know where it was, its dimensions, everything about it. But there was no “physical appearance” to it, no visual element.
I pushed Kal into the Rift. We could have entered Oneiros another way, but there was no guarantee we’d enter anywhere near the Slender One. Might as well use the same path he did to at least ensure we were following in his footsteps. So he did, and I stepped through the rift. Somehow, we ended up in different places. At the very least, he wasn’t wherever I was. The place looked like a cross between a city and a jungle. Buildings rose up into the sky, but were twisted and spiraled, as if bent by unseen hands. Trees were everywhere. The sky was the brightest shade of black you could ever see, contrasted against the dull grey of the buildings. Every single window in every single goddamn building shone a pale white light. Everything was lifeless. I had no idea what the Hell this place was. Someone’s dream?
And that’s when everything changed. The buildings shook, the ground trembled. The buildings began to grow upwards, reaching towards the sky and twisting into stranger shapes. Some split apart, others started to twist together like branches entwined. Up and up they went, covering the sky until everything went grey.
Then I woke up. Back in the real world.
I need a drink.
Love Under Will
93/93
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Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Kicked Out
Fuck! Something bad’s going on! I just got kicked out of Oneiros after escorting Kal in there. As far as I know he’s still in there. He’s not answering his cellphone. Arkady’s gotten into a fight with proxies, shit’s torn up around here, more proxies outside I think, can’t get back in everything’s fucked to shit. FUCK! Worst of all I can’t get back in. No matter how hard I try I can’t get into Oneiros, which shouldn’t even be possible. I think I might have pissed him off. Nothing I can do but hope for the best. Laptop batteries are dying, will have to post explanation when I get back.
Love Under Will
93/93
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Love Under Will
93/93
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Oneiros
Kal, I’ve read up on your experiences and did some research. It all makes sense.
Oneiros. Or rather, the Oneiric Plane.
In Greek mythology Oneiros was the personification of dream. Within an occult context, in particular with respect to certain ancient Gnostic traditions, there is a place deep within the Astral Plane known as the Oneiric Plane which contains the collective dreams of humanity. Just as the Astral Plane reflects thought-forms and patterns, so to does the Oneiric Plane with respect to dreams and the subconscious. It could be that the Slender One hides there, or at least was born there.
It explains the children. Because they are so young their subconscious is not so repressed and manifests in their active imaginations. It may be that the Slender One is able to follow these children’s “waking dreams” from the Oneiric Plane and into the real world, which explains his affinity with them. Similarly, it may be that he only chases those whose subconscious mind he can penetrate, which is why he only chases those who seek him out or have seen him before.
Oneiros is harder to reach than the Astral Plane. You might not be able to make it there on your own. Call me ASAP. I’ll provide you the details. We might both have to do this. And I’m probably going to need Arkady’s help for part of it.
Love Under Will
93/93
Previous/Next
Oneiros. Or rather, the Oneiric Plane.
In Greek mythology Oneiros was the personification of dream. Within an occult context, in particular with respect to certain ancient Gnostic traditions, there is a place deep within the Astral Plane known as the Oneiric Plane which contains the collective dreams of humanity. Just as the Astral Plane reflects thought-forms and patterns, so to does the Oneiric Plane with respect to dreams and the subconscious. It could be that the Slender One hides there, or at least was born there.
It explains the children. Because they are so young their subconscious is not so repressed and manifests in their active imaginations. It may be that the Slender One is able to follow these children’s “waking dreams” from the Oneiric Plane and into the real world, which explains his affinity with them. Similarly, it may be that he only chases those whose subconscious mind he can penetrate, which is why he only chases those who seek him out or have seen him before.
Oneiros is harder to reach than the Astral Plane. You might not be able to make it there on your own. Call me ASAP. I’ll provide you the details. We might both have to do this. And I’m probably going to need Arkady’s help for part of it.
Love Under Will
93/93
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Thursday, March 24, 2011
The Lazarus Effect
Life is relentless. There are times when, no matter how hard you try, you just can’t catch a break.
It was early in the morning, maybe 3? Arkady said around 3. I was peacefully asleep for the first time in days, as my insomnia had become a bit more pronounced since the incident at the grotto. Arkady was saying something about Moonlight Sonata. I supposed at the time it was my fault. I’d been listening to some of his classical music from time to time because quite frankly my nerves can’t handle anything remotely spooky. So I figured I had just somehow encouraged him with my mild interest in the music of yore. I flipped him off, said something incoherent, and went back to sleep.
I woke up maybe a few hours later, for no real reason. A shame, really. I felt like I’d only gotten a few short hours of sleep. I stretched and climbed out of bed. The first thing I noticed was that Arkady had gone. His mattress was empty, and half of his weapons were missing. Maybe if I hadn’t been so damn tired I would have put more thought into it, but my half-zombified mind just didn’t want to work. For all I knew, Arkady was off hunting slenderproxies, or doing some scouting of new locations, or maybe he saw a squirrel in the front yard and decided it needed to be taught a lesson. Didn’t matter to me at the time. I needed coffee. So I set the coffee maker and walked back into my room, where I noticed something sort of interesting. For some reason, my digital alarm clock has showing all 8’s. The thing was clearly broken, but I had no idea whatsoever what had caused it. Rather than fidget with the damn thing I just decided to look outside and get a general idea of how late it was. Maybe I had overslept, and that’s why I’d felt so tired. So I pulled aside the curtain. Nothing but fog as far as the eye could see.
Fuck.
I closed the blinds. Arkady was gone. I had no weapons, but I still had the sigils I’d made, including the new alchemical sigil. I grabbed a different cloth and wrote the sigil on it, with a binding hexagram over it. I switched out of my PJs into my regular clothes, donned my boots, and decided that this time waiting wasn’t going to do me any good. He had been in my house once before, so it certainly didn’t afford me any real protection. And Arkady may still have been out there somewhere.
Stepping out into the fog brought back unpleasant memories. The air was cold and damp. I could see my breath with every exhalation, as the warm mist dissolved into the great white expanse in front of me. The waning moon hung above, glowing a sickly yellow down on the landscape and faintly illuminating the night sky. The fog was so thick that I could barely see more than a few feet out. Buildings were obscured by it, so after walking a few minutes in the dark I no longer had any idea of where I was supposed to be. I say “supposed to be” because I was under no illusion that I was walking a straight line between two points. I kept alert, listening for tentacles as I stumbled along.
After a while, the fog started swirling, moving like a river current further into the shadows. I decided to follow suit, since there was nothing I could do to fight this until I could lay eyes on the Slender One. Why prolong the inevitable? I stared out into the churning sea of white for a moment, deciding I needed to compose myself before continuing on. Mental fortitude would be necessary if I were to encounter the Slender One.
Somewhere behind me, I heard something move. It was faint, a shuffle of leaves and grass. Heavy footsteps. I tightened my grip on the rag, my knuckles turning white from the pressure. I turned around. And there he was. Not the Slender One, but perhaps just as disturbing.
It was Porfiry.
This didn't seem right. Not at all. Arkady and I both watched this miserable wretch burn in the fire the Slender One had created. But there he stood before me. His eyes were hollowed out, empty sockets. His face was badly scarred with burn marks, those I recognized from my sigil and those I assume came from burning down that house. But this time I had something else planned.
Porfiry lumbered toward me awkwardly, then broke into a sprint I was not at all expecting. It was amazing, the change from stumbling blithering doll dragged along by strings to...whatever the Hell Porfiry had become in his second death. He ran towards me at full speed and knocked me down, tackling me into the ground. He fell ontop of me and raised his arm, ready to bring it down on my head. My back ached, my head reeled, but I had enough sense to latch onto the rag with the alchemy sigil and bring it up for him to see. And...he stopped. He stared at the symbol absentmindedly, his head tilted slightly. He seemed fascinated...at least as much as someone with no eyes can be. And I knew I had the bastard.
I called out the Keys to the Abyss and wove the spell. There was a quiet lull, and Porfiry began to scream. Or rather, did something like a scream. They don't really have a word for whatever the fuck he did, but he did it. It echoed and reverberated throughout the foggy night like the howl of a werewolf. I focused on the spell. Porfiry fell off me and staggered backwards, hunched over and realing in pain from the weight of some force. My force.
I picked myself up as I continued the incantation. It took a moment, but Porfiry finally realized what was happening. He raised himself up to get a good look at me, and I began to see what damage I had wrought. His ribs seemed to have been wrenched outward and had been burst out of his chest. The ivory tendrils of his rib cage glistened under the foul looking greenish-black blood that poured out from the fresh wounds. I watched as they pulled further and further out, splitting skin as they traveled outward. There was an almost satisfying crack as they did so. Porfiry clutched his bleeding chest with one hand and lurched towards me slowly, no doubt eager to make the incantation stop. I moved backward slowly, continuing the incantation as I tried to maintain my focus and fight down the revulsion that had my stomach turning knots whenever I looked at his innards struggling to spill out.
Unfortunately for me, it seemed that the damage his rebellious body parts were doing also seemed to enrage him. The more I watched his soft, possibly dead tissue rip under the strain of his bones, the more furiously he clawed towards me, the more clumsily and angrily he stumbled at me. He inched his way closer as I gradually lost focus on the spell, his steps coming closer while I could barely keep my backwards pace and continue the assault. His filthy blood spilled all over the ground. Underneath his skin I could see his organs moving ever so slightly, his exposed lungs a sickly pinkish-grey. They expanded tensely, perhaps from the pain I had inflicted upon him. He was perhaps five feet away from me when I realized I couldn't possibly cause him enough pain or kill him before he got to me. And the anger... the fury of his approach was enough to tell me I needed to make my escape. So I turned and ran, Porfiry's foosteps behind me. I ran indiscriminately, my assailent not too far behind me, until I finally came upon a shadow in the clearing. As I ran towards it I could make out the general shape. It was an enormous church, stone and certainly not something I remember ever seeing in Austin. There was stained glass all around the outside, various depictions of religious symbols that were way too insigificant to notice given I was about to be mauled by a lunatic who seemed to think having exposed innards were more of an irritation than a life-threatening condition.
So...a church? Well, what the Hell right?
I ran towards the door and stepped inside, trying desperately to close the door behind me. Porfiry slammed his body against the door, knocking me back a bit. But I still had control of the door, even if I could feel his weight against it. One of his arms reached through the door as I closed it. Rag in hand, I pressed it against his flesh and watched steam arise as it burned through his skin. I started the incantation once again, focusing on his arm. It slowly wrenched backwards against the rotation of his elbow joint. Again, Porfiry's screams resounded and reverberated throughout the church. His arm continued to bend backward, as if an invisible spirit were bending it in ways it wasn't supposed to be bent. And then there was the snapping sound. His elbow cracked, and the arm bent backwards ninety degrees. I continued the incantation, and the arm slowly rotated on its broken elbow joint. I screamed the incantation, adrenaline pumping through me as I watched the limb contort in ways the human arm was not meant to contort.
But that adrenaline quickly turned to fear as, somehow, Porfiry managed to regain enough control of his broken and battered arm to bend it against his will and grab hold of my arm. And he squeezed. The pain was unbelievable. His inhuman grip tightened against all rational understanding of human anatomy, his backwards and broken limb crushing my own through an opening in the door. My incantation dissolved in incoherent screams and I lost my footing against the door. I felt the full force of Porfiry's body slam against the door once more, pushing me back and knocking me on my ass. I staggered back on my hands and feet as the infuriated Porfiry stepped through the door, his limp and cripped arm hanging loosely and contorting oddly under his control. He raised it up, his elbow cracking as further bones broke in this disgusting display of absolute power. He closed his hand again and again while he walked towards me, as if to say that what I had accomplished meant nothing to him.
Porfiry dropped his arm and lunged at me. Unsure of what to do, I raised the rag at him and decided to try the incantation once more, but Porfiry stopped a foot or two away from me. For a second I thought he might have been entranced by the sigil, but I was mistaken. I was mistaken because I had not anticipated direct intervention. I saw that Porfiry wasn't looking at me, but at the front of the church. I turned my head slowly, for the first time that night less afraid of Porfiry and terrified of whatever was behind me. In front of the altar stood the fully formed fiend himself. His eyeless gaze had fallen upon me in the middle of the pews. I stumbled over the invocation as my concentration slipped. I simply couldn’t stop staring at him. I don’t think I have ever really gotten such a good look at him before. Seeing him at the fire was nothing in comparison to this.
The invocation fell flat, and there was silence. Nothing but silence. He stood there watched, perhaps mocking me or maybe studying me. My arms at my side, my sigil wrapped around my limp hand, and suddenly I found myself walking towards him. I don’t really know what I was thinking. I don’t know if it was him or me that commanded my legs to move. Maybe he wanted me to come to him, or maybe I just decided I was tired of playing games and just wanted to rip open a new orifice in that stupid empty face of his, just to have the pleasure of ramming that alchemical symbol down his throat before he finally did me in.
The reasoning or the result I’ll never know. As I moved in my trance I heard a loud crash which immediately drew my attention away from the Slender One. Arkady had smashed his way through the glass window holding a burning Molotov cocktail whose bottle seemed suspiciously familiar. He hurled the bottle at the Slender One, who caught on fire. I heard a shriek behind me, and turned to see Porfiry hurl himself onto the ground seconds before he seemingly faded out of existence. I looked back up at the Slender One. Despite the fire burning across his skin, he seemed completely unfazed. Arkady grabbed me by the wrist and dragged me out as I stared at the Slender One. The fire on his skin burst out around the ground with unnatural hunger, devouring the felt carpet and spreading across the whole of the structure. Jesus, the crucifix, and the rest of the statues burst into flames as black tendrils crept up them, slowly spreading the flames further and further.
I don’t remember much after that. It was the last image I saw, that of a pale-skinned Jesus bursting into flames, before I realized that I had blacked out. I don’t know how long I had been out, but I awoke back in my bed. Arkady and I discussed what happened. It looks like I have more work to do. The good news is that this experience may have shed some more light on the Slender One’s behavior. It’s possible that I may be able to refine my technique in dealing with him. But I don’t know if I can continue working at this pace. Every time I get closer to the answer, I come closer to death.
But please don’t get the wrong impression. I don’t fear death. I fear dying without knowing.
The story you read is only half of what happened. Specifically, my half. Arkady has also recollected his experience and written about it here.
As Always,
Love Under Will
93/93
Previous/Next
It was early in the morning, maybe 3? Arkady said around 3. I was peacefully asleep for the first time in days, as my insomnia had become a bit more pronounced since the incident at the grotto. Arkady was saying something about Moonlight Sonata. I supposed at the time it was my fault. I’d been listening to some of his classical music from time to time because quite frankly my nerves can’t handle anything remotely spooky. So I figured I had just somehow encouraged him with my mild interest in the music of yore. I flipped him off, said something incoherent, and went back to sleep.
I woke up maybe a few hours later, for no real reason. A shame, really. I felt like I’d only gotten a few short hours of sleep. I stretched and climbed out of bed. The first thing I noticed was that Arkady had gone. His mattress was empty, and half of his weapons were missing. Maybe if I hadn’t been so damn tired I would have put more thought into it, but my half-zombified mind just didn’t want to work. For all I knew, Arkady was off hunting slenderproxies, or doing some scouting of new locations, or maybe he saw a squirrel in the front yard and decided it needed to be taught a lesson. Didn’t matter to me at the time. I needed coffee. So I set the coffee maker and walked back into my room, where I noticed something sort of interesting. For some reason, my digital alarm clock has showing all 8’s. The thing was clearly broken, but I had no idea whatsoever what had caused it. Rather than fidget with the damn thing I just decided to look outside and get a general idea of how late it was. Maybe I had overslept, and that’s why I’d felt so tired. So I pulled aside the curtain. Nothing but fog as far as the eye could see.
Fuck.
I closed the blinds. Arkady was gone. I had no weapons, but I still had the sigils I’d made, including the new alchemical sigil. I grabbed a different cloth and wrote the sigil on it, with a binding hexagram over it. I switched out of my PJs into my regular clothes, donned my boots, and decided that this time waiting wasn’t going to do me any good. He had been in my house once before, so it certainly didn’t afford me any real protection. And Arkady may still have been out there somewhere.
Stepping out into the fog brought back unpleasant memories. The air was cold and damp. I could see my breath with every exhalation, as the warm mist dissolved into the great white expanse in front of me. The waning moon hung above, glowing a sickly yellow down on the landscape and faintly illuminating the night sky. The fog was so thick that I could barely see more than a few feet out. Buildings were obscured by it, so after walking a few minutes in the dark I no longer had any idea of where I was supposed to be. I say “supposed to be” because I was under no illusion that I was walking a straight line between two points. I kept alert, listening for tentacles as I stumbled along.
After a while, the fog started swirling, moving like a river current further into the shadows. I decided to follow suit, since there was nothing I could do to fight this until I could lay eyes on the Slender One. Why prolong the inevitable? I stared out into the churning sea of white for a moment, deciding I needed to compose myself before continuing on. Mental fortitude would be necessary if I were to encounter the Slender One.
Somewhere behind me, I heard something move. It was faint, a shuffle of leaves and grass. Heavy footsteps. I tightened my grip on the rag, my knuckles turning white from the pressure. I turned around. And there he was. Not the Slender One, but perhaps just as disturbing.
It was Porfiry.
This didn't seem right. Not at all. Arkady and I both watched this miserable wretch burn in the fire the Slender One had created. But there he stood before me. His eyes were hollowed out, empty sockets. His face was badly scarred with burn marks, those I recognized from my sigil and those I assume came from burning down that house. But this time I had something else planned.
Porfiry lumbered toward me awkwardly, then broke into a sprint I was not at all expecting. It was amazing, the change from stumbling blithering doll dragged along by strings to...whatever the Hell Porfiry had become in his second death. He ran towards me at full speed and knocked me down, tackling me into the ground. He fell ontop of me and raised his arm, ready to bring it down on my head. My back ached, my head reeled, but I had enough sense to latch onto the rag with the alchemy sigil and bring it up for him to see. And...he stopped. He stared at the symbol absentmindedly, his head tilted slightly. He seemed fascinated...at least as much as someone with no eyes can be. And I knew I had the bastard.
I called out the Keys to the Abyss and wove the spell. There was a quiet lull, and Porfiry began to scream. Or rather, did something like a scream. They don't really have a word for whatever the fuck he did, but he did it. It echoed and reverberated throughout the foggy night like the howl of a werewolf. I focused on the spell. Porfiry fell off me and staggered backwards, hunched over and realing in pain from the weight of some force. My force.
I picked myself up as I continued the incantation. It took a moment, but Porfiry finally realized what was happening. He raised himself up to get a good look at me, and I began to see what damage I had wrought. His ribs seemed to have been wrenched outward and had been burst out of his chest. The ivory tendrils of his rib cage glistened under the foul looking greenish-black blood that poured out from the fresh wounds. I watched as they pulled further and further out, splitting skin as they traveled outward. There was an almost satisfying crack as they did so. Porfiry clutched his bleeding chest with one hand and lurched towards me slowly, no doubt eager to make the incantation stop. I moved backward slowly, continuing the incantation as I tried to maintain my focus and fight down the revulsion that had my stomach turning knots whenever I looked at his innards struggling to spill out.
Unfortunately for me, it seemed that the damage his rebellious body parts were doing also seemed to enrage him. The more I watched his soft, possibly dead tissue rip under the strain of his bones, the more furiously he clawed towards me, the more clumsily and angrily he stumbled at me. He inched his way closer as I gradually lost focus on the spell, his steps coming closer while I could barely keep my backwards pace and continue the assault. His filthy blood spilled all over the ground. Underneath his skin I could see his organs moving ever so slightly, his exposed lungs a sickly pinkish-grey. They expanded tensely, perhaps from the pain I had inflicted upon him. He was perhaps five feet away from me when I realized I couldn't possibly cause him enough pain or kill him before he got to me. And the anger... the fury of his approach was enough to tell me I needed to make my escape. So I turned and ran, Porfiry's foosteps behind me. I ran indiscriminately, my assailent not too far behind me, until I finally came upon a shadow in the clearing. As I ran towards it I could make out the general shape. It was an enormous church, stone and certainly not something I remember ever seeing in Austin. There was stained glass all around the outside, various depictions of religious symbols that were way too insigificant to notice given I was about to be mauled by a lunatic who seemed to think having exposed innards were more of an irritation than a life-threatening condition.
So...a church? Well, what the Hell right?
I ran towards the door and stepped inside, trying desperately to close the door behind me. Porfiry slammed his body against the door, knocking me back a bit. But I still had control of the door, even if I could feel his weight against it. One of his arms reached through the door as I closed it. Rag in hand, I pressed it against his flesh and watched steam arise as it burned through his skin. I started the incantation once again, focusing on his arm. It slowly wrenched backwards against the rotation of his elbow joint. Again, Porfiry's screams resounded and reverberated throughout the church. His arm continued to bend backward, as if an invisible spirit were bending it in ways it wasn't supposed to be bent. And then there was the snapping sound. His elbow cracked, and the arm bent backwards ninety degrees. I continued the incantation, and the arm slowly rotated on its broken elbow joint. I screamed the incantation, adrenaline pumping through me as I watched the limb contort in ways the human arm was not meant to contort.
But that adrenaline quickly turned to fear as, somehow, Porfiry managed to regain enough control of his broken and battered arm to bend it against his will and grab hold of my arm. And he squeezed. The pain was unbelievable. His inhuman grip tightened against all rational understanding of human anatomy, his backwards and broken limb crushing my own through an opening in the door. My incantation dissolved in incoherent screams and I lost my footing against the door. I felt the full force of Porfiry's body slam against the door once more, pushing me back and knocking me on my ass. I staggered back on my hands and feet as the infuriated Porfiry stepped through the door, his limp and cripped arm hanging loosely and contorting oddly under his control. He raised it up, his elbow cracking as further bones broke in this disgusting display of absolute power. He closed his hand again and again while he walked towards me, as if to say that what I had accomplished meant nothing to him.
Porfiry dropped his arm and lunged at me. Unsure of what to do, I raised the rag at him and decided to try the incantation once more, but Porfiry stopped a foot or two away from me. For a second I thought he might have been entranced by the sigil, but I was mistaken. I was mistaken because I had not anticipated direct intervention. I saw that Porfiry wasn't looking at me, but at the front of the church. I turned my head slowly, for the first time that night less afraid of Porfiry and terrified of whatever was behind me. In front of the altar stood the fully formed fiend himself. His eyeless gaze had fallen upon me in the middle of the pews. I stumbled over the invocation as my concentration slipped. I simply couldn’t stop staring at him. I don’t think I have ever really gotten such a good look at him before. Seeing him at the fire was nothing in comparison to this.
The invocation fell flat, and there was silence. Nothing but silence. He stood there watched, perhaps mocking me or maybe studying me. My arms at my side, my sigil wrapped around my limp hand, and suddenly I found myself walking towards him. I don’t really know what I was thinking. I don’t know if it was him or me that commanded my legs to move. Maybe he wanted me to come to him, or maybe I just decided I was tired of playing games and just wanted to rip open a new orifice in that stupid empty face of his, just to have the pleasure of ramming that alchemical symbol down his throat before he finally did me in.
The reasoning or the result I’ll never know. As I moved in my trance I heard a loud crash which immediately drew my attention away from the Slender One. Arkady had smashed his way through the glass window holding a burning Molotov cocktail whose bottle seemed suspiciously familiar. He hurled the bottle at the Slender One, who caught on fire. I heard a shriek behind me, and turned to see Porfiry hurl himself onto the ground seconds before he seemingly faded out of existence. I looked back up at the Slender One. Despite the fire burning across his skin, he seemed completely unfazed. Arkady grabbed me by the wrist and dragged me out as I stared at the Slender One. The fire on his skin burst out around the ground with unnatural hunger, devouring the felt carpet and spreading across the whole of the structure. Jesus, the crucifix, and the rest of the statues burst into flames as black tendrils crept up them, slowly spreading the flames further and further.
I don’t remember much after that. It was the last image I saw, that of a pale-skinned Jesus bursting into flames, before I realized that I had blacked out. I don’t know how long I had been out, but I awoke back in my bed. Arkady and I discussed what happened. It looks like I have more work to do. The good news is that this experience may have shed some more light on the Slender One’s behavior. It’s possible that I may be able to refine my technique in dealing with him. But I don’t know if I can continue working at this pace. Every time I get closer to the answer, I come closer to death.
But please don’t get the wrong impression. I don’t fear death. I fear dying without knowing.
The story you read is only half of what happened. Specifically, my half. Arkady has also recollected his experience and written about it here.
As Always,
Love Under Will
93/93
Previous/Next
Friday, March 18, 2011
Of Alchemy and Sigils
I apologize for my inactivity as of late. Surprisingly enough, the Slender One and his minions have actually been out of the picture since Porfiry’s capture and subsequent…well…whatever happened to him. My lack of posting has actually mostly had to do with creating new sigils to replace the highly variable and mostly untested “Operator Symbol.” Over-reliance on anything whose true effects are unknown is a mark of…well…under less difficult circumstances I’d say “stupidity,” but I don’t consider the people who use it to be “stupid.” Many of the blogs I’ve read have some rather intelligent people. I think there is a tendency to rely on the Operator Symbol because it is familiar, something to draw comfort from and give the hunted a sense of protection. But it’s simply too variable to rely upon. Too many questions, too many contradicting accounts. Seems to be a common theme running through these stories.
Thus, I decided to make my own sigil. It’s been a full week long adventure trying to figure out how to start and where to go from there. But the fruits of my labor have, I believe, born something that is certainly worth testing. I’ve decided to chronicle the thought process involved, mostly as a point of reference for myself in case this turns out to fail and I manage to survive. Hopefully this will not be the case.
The first issue is what kind of sigil I wanted to design. Though the Ars Goetia seemed the obvious choice at first given how I first came into contact with the Slender One. But I had relied on the Operator Symbol during that particular encounter so I cannot say for certain the Ars Goetia was directly responsible for his summoning. What I am sure of is that the Goetic Circle had some sort of effect, since in my first interaction with him he never appeared fully. I have some faith in the Ars Goetia, enough that I’ve invoked a Goetic demon to keep watch on my apartment, but whether or not the Slender One is a Goetic demon of some sort I cannot say. It would stand to reason given Tulpa Theory that he is, but then again that is about as valid an interpretation as the Slender One being an alien. So trying to recreate him in a Goetic sigil is too likely to be a waste of time.
I had considered looking into Austin Osman Spare and his Alphabet Of Desire to create a sigil, but as much respect as I have for the man I simply don’t buy into a lot of what he taught. The conscious mind, in my opinion, is hardly strong enough by itself to generate the sort of change the Zos Kia Kultus believed was possible. I’ve seen too many smart but weak-minded people break under the strain of practicing magick. While I did a cursory reading of a few of his texts (including the titular Zos Kia Kultus), I decided against using it.
Unsure where to go, I started re-reading some of my Crowley books. Perhaps it was a stroke of fate or good fortune, but when I had read through my third book and found myself exhausted and out of ideas, I decided to consult the Tarot. Yes, yes, I know its tainted with all that new-age non-sense, but believe it or not before it became the art of charlatans it was used a lot by Crowley, who invented the Thoth deck that many erroneously use nowadays, and actually had a use beyond pretending to see into the near future. In fact the Tarot is better used as a tool for divining the magickal currents in one’s own life and more how the currents of the universe were changing, and how the True Self was moving along its path.
The stroke of good fortune had less to do with the cards, however, and more to do with a book. Crowley’s “The Book of Thoth” contained information on how to properly use the Tarot, so I decided to crack open my ebook version of it. And that’s when I feel upon a passage which dealt with alchemy and its relevance within the Tarot. This in turn gave me a brilliant idea. I decided I was going to create an alchemical blueprint of the Slender One. If I could determine his alchemical composition based on what I knew, I could possibly use hexagrammic wards to bind individual components of his existence.
Crowley wrote that the ancients believed all existence to be conceived of the three pure elements. These were Fire, Air, and Water. These were not literal elements, but rather forces whose properties symbolized the basic characteristics of all matter. The alchemists of old (whose studies are more relevant to my own), likewise had a similar theory which dealt with three primary elements or forces. Sulphur corresponded with fire and represented Activity, Energy, and Desire. Mercury/Quicksilver corresponded with water and represented fluidity, intelligence, and transmission. Salt was considered “the vehicle of these two forms of energy, but itself possesses qualities which react on them.” Fire, air, and water would crystallize into a fourth element, earth, and together form of a Triangle pointed down with a single pendant hanging from its bottom point, representing the Earth fusion of all 3 points into one force.
So from here I formed a basic triangle shape with a pendent using the alchemical symbols, replacing Earth (the catalyst or combination forces) with the alchemical symbol for salt. I also utilized the Tau cross to represent the connection between Salt the element and Earth. It was the basic triangular format for all matter.
From this basic blue print I had to apply what I knew about the Slender One. For starters, his time signature was different. He is known to be capable of moving outside of normal space/time, which led me to look closer at the relationships between compounds. The interaction of Sulphur and Mercury (activity vs transition) would naturally lead to the formation of a salt component, but only when included with a Saturn solution (time). In other words, the salt component should, theoretically, be a function of transition and activity via time, right?
Salt = Mercury + Sulphur
Where "+" = Saturn
So,
Salt = Mercury (Saturn) Sulphur
Except in this case, there seems to be inconsistency between transition and activity. Saturn only appears occasionally, and doesn't seem to be a function of the interaction between Sulphur or Mercury.
Salt = Mercury & Sulphur
This probably seems somewhat nonsensical, but all this really says is that the Slender One's ability to transition (Mercury) or provide motion (Sulphur) combined together (Salt) does not seem to be reliant on the presence of time (Saturn). Really, saying
Salt = Mercury & Sulphur + (Saturn?)
Is about as sensical as having a space/time bending tentacled childnapper.
At first I ran with the theory that his activity/transmission interaction happened parallel to the Saturn current, so that his presence in our own space/time dimension was an echo of occurrences within his own separate dimension, like it's own system in chemistry/physics. Formulaically,
Slender Salt = Mercury + Sulphur
|
|
|
|
Salt = Mercury + Sulphur + Saturn
Which can be simplified to
Mercury + Sulphur + Saturn = Salt =|=Slender Salt = Sulphur + Mercury
Where the symbol "=|=" represents a balance between both systems.
But even if his existence within our own space/time dimension were illusory, he would have had to intersect with our own from time to time to interact with the Hunted. And for him to intelligently affect the Hunted, he would have to have precognition of our own actions in order to sync his echoes with the Saturn currents to even touch the Hunted. It may be possible if he were to study us long enough to guess our patterns, which would mean he could refine his interactions with our space/time dimension the more he dealt with the Hunted until he could sync his echoes with our dimension to finally hone in on the kill.
This did have the added benefit of explaining part of why electronic equipment and such malfunctioned around him. If his echoes disrupted the normal space/time continuum it may be partly because he does so like a new kind of wave, which could very well cause interference with other kinds of waves (light, electromagnetic, etc). So his physical component is an element of his echoes outside this dimension forming waves within our own dimension, which manifest in a variety of different spectra (light waves of different wavelengths corresponding to different colors and thus manifesting as his appearance). But it also carried the horrifying implication that he could manifest in different places at once. His echoes could reflect multiple times across the current at once, meaning he could appear in different places at the same time, or even worse multiple times at the same place.
This could balance our previous equation a little bit better with alternative phenomenon. In his own dimension, the Slender One could have a different substance to travel through rather than Saturn, whose echo can be felt on our side of the equation as new phenomenon.
Mercury + Sulphur + Saturn = Salt =|= Slender Salt = Sulphur + Mercury + Substance X
The problem, however, is that there doesn't seem to be an equilibrium in the interaction between systems. He effectively injects himself and his substances into our dimension, including this Substance X representing interference. He does not remove anything from our own system, however, in order to do this. Furthermore, the Slender One is drawn to those who seek him out, and is not a phenomenon which involves itself upon uninterested parties. Children are the exception, certainly, but nothing about the way they interact with space/time would suggest that they are capable of something adults are not. He clearly enjoys tormenting adults even if he hungers for children. It makes his limitation to those involved in the mythos seem counter-intuitive to his actions.
I did decide to put that idea to the side as “possible, but highly unlikely.” The more I questioned it, the more complex that format seemed to become. So instead I decided to try a different approach and see if it made more sense. The following is more or less the papers I worked on demonstrating the development of the sigil. I used alchemical notation for Mercury and Sulphur, a pendant/triangle formation as described in the Book of Thoth, and then the astrological symbol for Saturn which is often used in alchemy. I then created two bindings, a general Tetragrammaton and one which utilizes the Key of the Abyss:
Please note: The Hexagrams drawn around the alchemical symbols (whose meanings can be found in Liber 777) are drawn in a particular fashion. The direction of strokes and order of triangles fits with the corrosponding alchemical substance's Hexagrammic Banishing Ward written of in the Hexagrammic Banishing Ritual, which can be found in Crowley's "Liber O vel Manus et Sagitae," a copy of which can be found here: http://www.sacred-texts.com/oto/libero.htm
The next theory of mine seemed more sensible. It could be that the Slender One was composed of a completely different alchemical substance. I considered the idea that his Sulphur and Mercury components may both be fused under a different sort of substance, one with characteristics of both. His transition is a part of his activity. Because of this, his interaction with space/time (Saturn) would have to be different because it wasn’t a catalyst between Sulphur and Mercury. Rather, it could be a byproduct, that by mutating his activity he creates a Saturn component which inserts itself in the space/time continuum, thus making him highly malleable in terms of activity and in terms of space/time. This time rather than using the triangular format I merged the Mercury/Sulphur/Earthen Tau Cross symbol in a triangular wheel and from it I placed the Saturn sigil. I placed this sigil within the Tetragrammaton and bound it with a Saturnian Hexagrammic ward. If he has his own Saturnian signature merging with our own space/time, then it could be possible to seal his specific Saturnian signature in space/time:
And the thought process which accompanied it:
I found this theory to be more consistent behaviorally, because it made the Slender One capable of interacting with the Hunted more simplified manner (Occam’s Razor). But one major problem was that his activity and desire would have to constantly be in transmission for the two substances to be the same. While his activity component did change to some extent, there were also constants in his behavior which suggest some differentiation between the Sulphur and Mercurial components.
From the blogs, the general picture I formed was that his desires were the same. Children, torment, mortal followers…these were all constant. It was how he went about achieving these goals that changed. Which led me to my final adjustment. I realized that even if his goals could not be understood, the Slender One kept them constant. His interactions with the world, and how to achieve these goals, were very Mercurial. This led me to believe that the Sulphur element of his existence was in fact dominant, giving it more prominence. Running perpendicular to this is an interaction between Mercury and Salt, representing the constantly transitional nature of his physical existence.
His Saturn component then is not running parallel to our own space/time, but rather a byproduct of his ever-changing physical nature. And because of this, his location in space time is malleable as it is formed from his Mercurial transitional element and his physical Salt component, since his space time component represents his physical nature constantly in transition directed by his Sulphuric energy component. Though it does not explain why the Slender One need be summoned by the awareness of others, it is at least independent of this phenomenon. It could simply be that he is immediately aware of others being aware of him. Possibly even that he is not at all aware of those who do not know of him. It's worth looking into, but at least we have a basic blueprint to start with.
Giving me this completed sigil bound within the Tetragrammaton:
And now all that remains is to test my theory.
As always...a disclaimer?
Disclaimer: The above work is the product of Setoth, writer of the online magickal diary-turned-Slender One journal Vox93. This work is purely theoretical in nature and is based of the aforementioned author's understanding, interpretation, and experience with the so called "Slender Man Phenomenon" and the works and writings of Aleister Crowley. It is completely untested. Use at your own risk. Should anyone choose to use his works, Setoth is not liable or responsible for any damages incurred by those incorporating these sigils into their fight against Slender Man, including death, dismemberment, organ-rearrangement, or the death/dismemberment/organ-rearrangement of friends and family. This is true regardless of the Sigil's correct usage or misusage.
For best effect, it is recommended that users of these sigils read:
Liber O vel Manus et Sagitae
The Book of Thoth
Liber ABA
Message of Master Therion
Corrospondent sigils can be found in Crowley's Liber 777
And of course, The Book of the Law (Liber Al Vel Legis). It is the Law of the New Aeon, after all.
Love Under Will
93/93
Previous/Next
Thus, I decided to make my own sigil. It’s been a full week long adventure trying to figure out how to start and where to go from there. But the fruits of my labor have, I believe, born something that is certainly worth testing. I’ve decided to chronicle the thought process involved, mostly as a point of reference for myself in case this turns out to fail and I manage to survive. Hopefully this will not be the case.
The first issue is what kind of sigil I wanted to design. Though the Ars Goetia seemed the obvious choice at first given how I first came into contact with the Slender One. But I had relied on the Operator Symbol during that particular encounter so I cannot say for certain the Ars Goetia was directly responsible for his summoning. What I am sure of is that the Goetic Circle had some sort of effect, since in my first interaction with him he never appeared fully. I have some faith in the Ars Goetia, enough that I’ve invoked a Goetic demon to keep watch on my apartment, but whether or not the Slender One is a Goetic demon of some sort I cannot say. It would stand to reason given Tulpa Theory that he is, but then again that is about as valid an interpretation as the Slender One being an alien. So trying to recreate him in a Goetic sigil is too likely to be a waste of time.
I had considered looking into Austin Osman Spare and his Alphabet Of Desire to create a sigil, but as much respect as I have for the man I simply don’t buy into a lot of what he taught. The conscious mind, in my opinion, is hardly strong enough by itself to generate the sort of change the Zos Kia Kultus believed was possible. I’ve seen too many smart but weak-minded people break under the strain of practicing magick. While I did a cursory reading of a few of his texts (including the titular Zos Kia Kultus), I decided against using it.
Unsure where to go, I started re-reading some of my Crowley books. Perhaps it was a stroke of fate or good fortune, but when I had read through my third book and found myself exhausted and out of ideas, I decided to consult the Tarot. Yes, yes, I know its tainted with all that new-age non-sense, but believe it or not before it became the art of charlatans it was used a lot by Crowley, who invented the Thoth deck that many erroneously use nowadays, and actually had a use beyond pretending to see into the near future. In fact the Tarot is better used as a tool for divining the magickal currents in one’s own life and more how the currents of the universe were changing, and how the True Self was moving along its path.
The stroke of good fortune had less to do with the cards, however, and more to do with a book. Crowley’s “The Book of Thoth” contained information on how to properly use the Tarot, so I decided to crack open my ebook version of it. And that’s when I feel upon a passage which dealt with alchemy and its relevance within the Tarot. This in turn gave me a brilliant idea. I decided I was going to create an alchemical blueprint of the Slender One. If I could determine his alchemical composition based on what I knew, I could possibly use hexagrammic wards to bind individual components of his existence.
Crowley wrote that the ancients believed all existence to be conceived of the three pure elements. These were Fire, Air, and Water. These were not literal elements, but rather forces whose properties symbolized the basic characteristics of all matter. The alchemists of old (whose studies are more relevant to my own), likewise had a similar theory which dealt with three primary elements or forces. Sulphur corresponded with fire and represented Activity, Energy, and Desire. Mercury/Quicksilver corresponded with water and represented fluidity, intelligence, and transmission. Salt was considered “the vehicle of these two forms of energy, but itself possesses qualities which react on them.” Fire, air, and water would crystallize into a fourth element, earth, and together form of a Triangle pointed down with a single pendant hanging from its bottom point, representing the Earth fusion of all 3 points into one force.
So from here I formed a basic triangle shape with a pendent using the alchemical symbols, replacing Earth (the catalyst or combination forces) with the alchemical symbol for salt. I also utilized the Tau cross to represent the connection between Salt the element and Earth. It was the basic triangular format for all matter.
From this basic blue print I had to apply what I knew about the Slender One. For starters, his time signature was different. He is known to be capable of moving outside of normal space/time, which led me to look closer at the relationships between compounds. The interaction of Sulphur and Mercury (activity vs transition) would naturally lead to the formation of a salt component, but only when included with a Saturn solution (time). In other words, the salt component should, theoretically, be a function of transition and activity via time, right?
Salt = Mercury + Sulphur
Where "+" = Saturn
So,
Salt = Mercury (Saturn) Sulphur
Except in this case, there seems to be inconsistency between transition and activity. Saturn only appears occasionally, and doesn't seem to be a function of the interaction between Sulphur or Mercury.
Salt = Mercury & Sulphur
This probably seems somewhat nonsensical, but all this really says is that the Slender One's ability to transition (Mercury) or provide motion (Sulphur) combined together (Salt) does not seem to be reliant on the presence of time (Saturn). Really, saying
Salt = Mercury & Sulphur + (Saturn?)
Is about as sensical as having a space/time bending tentacled childnapper.
At first I ran with the theory that his activity/transmission interaction happened parallel to the Saturn current, so that his presence in our own space/time dimension was an echo of occurrences within his own separate dimension, like it's own system in chemistry/physics. Formulaically,
Slender Salt = Mercury + Sulphur
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Salt = Mercury + Sulphur + Saturn
Which can be simplified to
Mercury + Sulphur + Saturn = Salt =|=Slender Salt = Sulphur + Mercury
Where the symbol "=|=" represents a balance between both systems.
But even if his existence within our own space/time dimension were illusory, he would have had to intersect with our own from time to time to interact with the Hunted. And for him to intelligently affect the Hunted, he would have to have precognition of our own actions in order to sync his echoes with the Saturn currents to even touch the Hunted. It may be possible if he were to study us long enough to guess our patterns, which would mean he could refine his interactions with our space/time dimension the more he dealt with the Hunted until he could sync his echoes with our dimension to finally hone in on the kill.
This did have the added benefit of explaining part of why electronic equipment and such malfunctioned around him. If his echoes disrupted the normal space/time continuum it may be partly because he does so like a new kind of wave, which could very well cause interference with other kinds of waves (light, electromagnetic, etc). So his physical component is an element of his echoes outside this dimension forming waves within our own dimension, which manifest in a variety of different spectra (light waves of different wavelengths corresponding to different colors and thus manifesting as his appearance). But it also carried the horrifying implication that he could manifest in different places at once. His echoes could reflect multiple times across the current at once, meaning he could appear in different places at the same time, or even worse multiple times at the same place.
This could balance our previous equation a little bit better with alternative phenomenon. In his own dimension, the Slender One could have a different substance to travel through rather than Saturn, whose echo can be felt on our side of the equation as new phenomenon.
Mercury + Sulphur + Saturn = Salt =|= Slender Salt = Sulphur + Mercury + Substance X
The problem, however, is that there doesn't seem to be an equilibrium in the interaction between systems. He effectively injects himself and his substances into our dimension, including this Substance X representing interference. He does not remove anything from our own system, however, in order to do this. Furthermore, the Slender One is drawn to those who seek him out, and is not a phenomenon which involves itself upon uninterested parties. Children are the exception, certainly, but nothing about the way they interact with space/time would suggest that they are capable of something adults are not. He clearly enjoys tormenting adults even if he hungers for children. It makes his limitation to those involved in the mythos seem counter-intuitive to his actions.
I did decide to put that idea to the side as “possible, but highly unlikely.” The more I questioned it, the more complex that format seemed to become. So instead I decided to try a different approach and see if it made more sense. The following is more or less the papers I worked on demonstrating the development of the sigil. I used alchemical notation for Mercury and Sulphur, a pendant/triangle formation as described in the Book of Thoth, and then the astrological symbol for Saturn which is often used in alchemy. I then created two bindings, a general Tetragrammaton and one which utilizes the Key of the Abyss:
Please note: The Hexagrams drawn around the alchemical symbols (whose meanings can be found in Liber 777) are drawn in a particular fashion. The direction of strokes and order of triangles fits with the corrosponding alchemical substance's Hexagrammic Banishing Ward written of in the Hexagrammic Banishing Ritual, which can be found in Crowley's "Liber O vel Manus et Sagitae," a copy of which can be found here: http://www.sacred-texts.com/oto/libero.htm
The next theory of mine seemed more sensible. It could be that the Slender One was composed of a completely different alchemical substance. I considered the idea that his Sulphur and Mercury components may both be fused under a different sort of substance, one with characteristics of both. His transition is a part of his activity. Because of this, his interaction with space/time (Saturn) would have to be different because it wasn’t a catalyst between Sulphur and Mercury. Rather, it could be a byproduct, that by mutating his activity he creates a Saturn component which inserts itself in the space/time continuum, thus making him highly malleable in terms of activity and in terms of space/time. This time rather than using the triangular format I merged the Mercury/Sulphur/Earthen Tau Cross symbol in a triangular wheel and from it I placed the Saturn sigil. I placed this sigil within the Tetragrammaton and bound it with a Saturnian Hexagrammic ward. If he has his own Saturnian signature merging with our own space/time, then it could be possible to seal his specific Saturnian signature in space/time:
And the thought process which accompanied it:
I found this theory to be more consistent behaviorally, because it made the Slender One capable of interacting with the Hunted more simplified manner (Occam’s Razor). But one major problem was that his activity and desire would have to constantly be in transmission for the two substances to be the same. While his activity component did change to some extent, there were also constants in his behavior which suggest some differentiation between the Sulphur and Mercurial components.
From the blogs, the general picture I formed was that his desires were the same. Children, torment, mortal followers…these were all constant. It was how he went about achieving these goals that changed. Which led me to my final adjustment. I realized that even if his goals could not be understood, the Slender One kept them constant. His interactions with the world, and how to achieve these goals, were very Mercurial. This led me to believe that the Sulphur element of his existence was in fact dominant, giving it more prominence. Running perpendicular to this is an interaction between Mercury and Salt, representing the constantly transitional nature of his physical existence.
His Saturn component then is not running parallel to our own space/time, but rather a byproduct of his ever-changing physical nature. And because of this, his location in space time is malleable as it is formed from his Mercurial transitional element and his physical Salt component, since his space time component represents his physical nature constantly in transition directed by his Sulphuric energy component. Though it does not explain why the Slender One need be summoned by the awareness of others, it is at least independent of this phenomenon. It could simply be that he is immediately aware of others being aware of him. Possibly even that he is not at all aware of those who do not know of him. It's worth looking into, but at least we have a basic blueprint to start with.
Giving me this completed sigil bound within the Tetragrammaton:
And now all that remains is to test my theory.
As always...a disclaimer?
Disclaimer: The above work is the product of Setoth, writer of the online magickal diary-turned-Slender One journal Vox93. This work is purely theoretical in nature and is based of the aforementioned author's understanding, interpretation, and experience with the so called "Slender Man Phenomenon" and the works and writings of Aleister Crowley. It is completely untested. Use at your own risk. Should anyone choose to use his works, Setoth is not liable or responsible for any damages incurred by those incorporating these sigils into their fight against Slender Man, including death, dismemberment, organ-rearrangement, or the death/dismemberment/organ-rearrangement of friends and family. This is true regardless of the Sigil's correct usage or misusage.
For best effect, it is recommended that users of these sigils read:
Liber O vel Manus et Sagitae
The Book of Thoth
Liber ABA
Message of Master Therion
Corrospondent sigils can be found in Crowley's Liber 777
And of course, The Book of the Law (Liber Al Vel Legis). It is the Law of the New Aeon, after all.
Love Under Will
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